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Where was God when I was sexually abused? This is the great unspoken question of women silently suffering in our churches today, followed closely by a second. How can God claim to care about me when I was forced to endure such unspeakable acts? The Bible openly covers a lot of territory on sexual abuse. It holds the keys to unlock deep-seated shame, guilt and bitterness that fuse to the soul as a result of sexual violation. A Counterfeit Veil is an invitation to trade those unrelenting feelings of worthlessness and brokenness for a pure hope. A Counterfeit Veil is a guided tour that uncovers truth about the extreme harm sexual abuse inflicts throughout a woman’s life, affecting her mind, spirit, and relationships. You will encounter and interact with scripture, perhaps in a way you never have before, as you recover your authentic spiritual identity.

You are not alone. Scripture does not shy away from the reality of your pain. You will find honest answers where there is freedom to ask the unspoken questions and take off shame like an old garment. As you journey through this study, you will find grace and acceptance that unfold both the promise and power of Christ to restore the beauty hidden beneath your unhealed scars.

Our natural response to the trauma of sexual abuse is self-protection. We construct a covering to hide our shame and protect our wounds. The self-made covering serves the purpose of immediate survival, but it is fundamentally inadequate and separates us from God. The pure image of God becomes hidden, and a counterfeit veil is woven in its place. Although the veil is ineffective in covering our sense of condemnation, we fight to hold onto this dirty, ragged garment. The enemy has now convinced us we do not deserve anything better, that God could not possibly love us, at least not as He loves others. A tattered veil is better, after all, than the naked exposure of a broken heart. 

This veil distorts our vision of Christ, ourselves, and others. It robs us of fulfilling relationships, the real desire of our hearts. We cannot fully and openly experience love and joy through the counterfeit veil. Spiritual intimacy is reestablished when we give permission for God to remove our counterfeit veils and provide us with the genuine, protective, clean covering of His love. Healing will follow as we consciously choose to shift our identities from the hands of an evil abuser to the hands of a loving God. 

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. 

(Psalm 34:5 NIV)